Sunday, October 11, 2009
For those of you who haven't guessed it, I hate change. It makes me uncomfortable. I've been this way for years. I get into a groove when I'm traveling in the same old rut... I like my rut. I like the predictability. I drive my husband insane when he proposes changing this or that. I give him a million reasons why we shouldn't change the way we have been doing whatever it is he's wanting to change. My philosophy is "It must work if it's gotten us this far".
Our roads here in Tennessee are not set up so great. There aren't enough lanes to support all the tourist we get, so there is always traffic anywhere you go. They've recently started doing construction on the road I use to get to the grocery store or Interstate. And you know what, I panic every time I drive on it. I don't like the roads being messed. I don't like not knowing what to expect around the next corner.
I was heading out to the Interstate a few weeks ago, and I noticed what looked like a blockade of orange cones. As I drove closer, I thought "Great, what am I supposed to do if they have the road blocked off". I didn't know where a detour would lead me. I was ready to just turn around and go home even though I really needed to make it out to my in-laws house...
But I kept going. And just when it looked like I could go no further, the road turned. It wasn't a dead end like I expected it to be after all.
It made me think about how I used to live my life and how I'm living it now. How many times have I thought there was no where else to go? How many times have I been scared God lead me to a dead end? Plenty. And I'm ashamed to say I've given up and gone home more times than I care to admit. But you know, when I have a little faith and continue down a road of uncertainty and doubt, a road that scares me... God always leads me exactly where I need to be. Every time.
The construction our city is undergoing right now may be inconvenient and for weird people like me, scary. But I understand why they are doing it. It was time for change. The old roads worked, but not well.
And if I had of turned around when I thought I was going to reach a dead end, I would have never discovered the turn in the road that took me where I was trying to go.
I feel like I'm in the part of my life where it looks like I'm hitting a dead end. In a million years, I would have never imagined I would be trying to change the law! Yet here I am trusting God to guide me down this uncertain road. I faithfully follow his lead and know I will find a turn instead of a dead end. Change still terrifies me, but I'm trying to make a conscious effort to make myself stay out of the rut I used to live in. God threw me out of that rut with Wyatt's diagnosis, and he's made it extremely hard to find it again. I think I'll just stop looking for it and enjoy what God is doing in my life right now. Friends, let me tell you, there is no limit to what God can do if you simply get out of your rut and follow his lead!