Click below and Google will call you to connect you to my voicemail! Numbers are always private.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

A Little Teaser of Wyatt's Birthday

I have tons of pictures to share with you. Pictures that I am eager to post... but of course we have satellite internet here and stormy weather. Not a good combination for uploading pictures. However, I'll share the few I've managed to get uploaded and you'll just have more pictures to look forward to later.

Before I get to the pictures though, I just want to document how the actual day went for me.

The days leading up to Wyatt's party I was so wrapped up in making decorations and getting everything prepared I didn't actually have time to really think about the big day. I didn't look ahead any further than which decoration or project I needed to do next. It really helped me keep myself together.

It wasn't until the day before Wyatt's first birthday that I started getting emotional and weepy. I had pretty much finished up all the projects I could get done and I had time to dwell on what laid ahead in the hours to come.

"This was my last night with him"...

"These were the last hiccups I felt"...

"This was the last time I held me belly before bed and sang 'You are my Sunshine' to him before drifting off to sleep"...

"I wonder if I would have spent this night differently had I known it was my last night with him alive"...

I had so many thoughts whirling around inside this head of mine.

Joseph tried to distract me by renting the movie "Dear John". I'd been wanting to see the movie for a while and it was a nice break for the war movie streak he's been on lately. The only problem was that we started watching the movie so late, by the time it was over it was already after midnight. I glanced at the clock as I crawled into bed at realized it was 12:32 in the morning... Wyatt's birthday. I started crying and didn't want Joseph to know I was already getting upset so I tried pulling the covers over my face. My plan at concealing the tears worked until he asked me a question and I had to choke out a reply. I ended up crying myself to sleep, something I hadn't done in quite a while...

Later that morning I woke up to a full bladder and again made the mistake of looking at the clock. Wouldn't you know that I woke up within five minutes of when my water broke a year ago with Wyatt! Of course, that got the tears flowing again. I curled up with Wyatt's blanket (something else I hadn't done in a while) and tried to fall back asleep. It didn't work. I laid in bed wishing for Wyatt and praying my water wouldn't break again on this day. I absolutely didn't want to have Wyatt and Seth share a birthday. I would have dealt with it had it happened, but I've been really adamant with God about allowing Wyatt to have and keep his own special day.

As any of you who read my blog regularly know, Wyatt was born at 10:03 in the morning and passed away at 10:05. Joseph set an alarm on his phone and we lit a candle for Wyatt at 10:03 and sang happy birthday to him. We let the candle burn for the two minutes he lived and blew it out together as a family.




You don't realize how short two minutes is until it's time to blow out the flame of a candle that is supposed to symbolize the entire life of your child. I think this was one of the lowest parts of my day. It was just...hard.

On a lighter note, Wyatt's elephant got to sport a birthday shirt and hat all day! It made me smile every time I looked at it.


We even got a family picture with the elephant and our whole family sported elephant shirts in honor of Wyatt for his birthday. You can't see Ansley's or Eli's in the picture, but I assure you there are elephants on both of their shirts too!


Well, that's it for now. I still have thank you's to post and more pictures to share of the preparations and actual party, but that wil have to wait for another (less cloudy and gross) day.

Photobucket

13 comments:

Sarita Boyette said...

The photo of all of you & Wyatt's elephant is so sweet. I know you miss your precious boy, and his birthday celebration must have been fabulous. I can't wait to see the other pics. Wyatt's gift from me will be a little late. I wanted to mail it Tuesday, but didn't make it to the P.O.I will try to do it tomorrow. Remembering wyatt with you. xxxooo

Betty said...

Beautiful pictures. You look great. I love seeing pictures of BLM's it give me hope that it might be me one day. (((Hugs)))

Nati @ I will praise Him said...

This brought tears to my eyes. I just can't imagine...

I thought about Wyatt on his birthday but never made it to the computer to tell him Happy Birthday on June 1st.

So here ya go Wyatt, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You have changed so many lifes! I hope you had an awesome party in heaven!

Karen said...

Thanks for sharing Wyatt with us. Those 2 minutes must have been really difficult. It brought tears to my eyes just reading about it.

You are in my prayers.

(((Hugs))) and Blessings,
Karen

Holly said...

I was the same way with Carleigh's birthday. The planning kept me busy and from focusing too much on what lay ahead.

I love that Wyatt's elephant had a shirt and a hat. That's so cute!!

Ashley D said...

I teared up reading this. The candle got me.

Happy Birthday sweet Wyatt!

croleyc69 said...

Thanx for sharing and I can't wait to see the pics. Everything looks so wonderful.

Caroline

Traci Michele said...

Danielle, this was beautiful. Wyatt is remembered in my heart :-)

Leanne said...

I love the family picture! That is so sweet that you all wore elephant shirts, had the candle burn for two minutes, and had the elephant in birthday gear! I loved the pictures.

INSIDE THE SHRINK said...

I am inspired by your courage and being human. There is no tragedy that compares to losing a child. Little Wyatt still lives in your heart. It's so heartwarming to see you celebrating his short life. What a great mother you are. God bless and I pray this new little baby will be healthy, strong, and committed to the Lord.

elena said...

Aww, I think the elephant sporting the hat and shirt was so adorable! I also love that you all wore elephants on your shirts. Thank you for sharing these pictures. I look forward to seeing more.

love and prayers
elena

With Out My Punkin said...

I love your family picture. Excited to see more pictures.

Jess said...

Happy belated birthday to Wyatt! I love the picture of all of you with the elephant shirts, what a special touch. I know you miss him so much, and you have done such special things to honor him.