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Monday, June 28, 2010

{Almost} 2 Weeks Old

Can it be that this little guy has already been here for two whole weeks almost?

I say almost, because right now if you were to ask me how old my baby was, I'd reply with, "Oh, he's 13 and a half days old. He'll be two weeks old at 9:22 this evening..."

I know, I'm a bit crazy... but I feel like I'm entitled to bear that title proudly. I mean, is there really such a thing as loving your child too much? I think after losing a child and the chance to raise them, each second you are blessed to hold another one in your arms should be cherished. Not that it shouldn't be cherished if all your children are here... but when you are called to surrender one of your children there is a spring of emotions that well up inside.

You worry more.

You feel ancient.

You become REALLY a little crazy.

You get angry.

You get jealous.

You cry. A lot.

But, you also love harder...

You cling more to the blessings in your life and see them for the gifts they are.

My blessings are my family. I realize my family is not something I'm entitled to, but something God has gifted me with.

So I'll make no apologies if I cling to them a little too tightly. Or if I'm too overprotective to let other people watch my children. Or if I'm "spoiling" the newest member of our family because I hardly put him down or let him cry.

Funny story. Joseph told me I needed to just put Seth down and walk away. I needed to let him cry (obviously after he's burped, fed, changed, and warm) like we did with Ansley and Eli when they were babies. I must have looked at Joseph like he'd grown an extra head as I said in disbelief "I'm not going to let him cry!", because Joseph just shook his head and dropped it. I should probably invest in a baby wrap or sling though to make my life a little easier... I just can't seem to walk away from this little guy. I'm almost afraid if I put him down he'll disappear on me!

Anyways, back to what I was saying...

There's no such thing as too many hugs or too many kisses... I know what it's like to want to kiss your child's face and not be able too.

There's not enough hours in the day to cuddle on my children... I know they are mine only because God gave them to me. Only he knows how long I can hold them in my arms.

It's not the end of the world if the dishes don't get finished because I spent that time reading an extra story... Dishes were the last thing on my mind as I said my final goodbyes (until heaven) to my son. What was on my mind were all the stories I'd never get to read him.

I could care less about the extra laundry I have to do because we made a fort out of blankets or took half the clothes out of my closet to play dress up... I'll never get to wash a single outfit for Wyatt.

So, yes. I may come off a little strong, but Wyatt taught me how to love with my whole heart. I may cuddle on Seth more than Ansley and Eli, but that's only because Seth doesn't have a choice right now and I'm taking advantage of it. Besides, Ansley and Eli won't sit still long enough!

I think our whole family has learned to love better because of Wyatt.

Joseph is a more tender and affectionate father...

Who even lends his nose for Seth to latch onto when I'm being to slow to sit down and nurse...

Ansley and Eli are crazy protective over their baby Seth. Ansley and Eli both have actually gotten onto the nurses when we've had to take Seth to the doctors for hurting him and making him cry. Last time we went in Ansley actually pointed a finger at the nurse and told her as soon as she walked into the room "Be nice to my baby Seth. You have to kiss him so he doesn't cry'!

And me, well, I've just been enjoying my time with my family. I may be exhausted because Seth has his days and nights mixed up, but I really don't mind giving up sleep to hold him because he wants to be held. Heck, even during the day when I could be sleeping (and probably should be) I spend that time laying next to him so I can just stare at him. I watch his chest rise and fall. I put my face up close to his so I can feel his breath on my skin.

I sit on the floor and play blocks with Ansley and Eli. I bake them special treats for dessert after dinner. Joseph and I take them out for ice cream or to play at the park. We color together, dance together, and run through the house like a crazy bunch of monsters.

I'm enjoying my kids for their own little stage that each of them is in. I'm taking more pictures and trying not to let a single milestone pass by undocumented.

Speaking of milestones, I decided to do newborn portraits of Seth myself instead of taking him somewhere. I figured I could get what I wanted that way. With some help from Joseph these are {a few} of my favorites.

I'll be doing his two week portraits today with the kids if the weather cooperates...

I know this post was all over the place. I have a lot on my mind lately that I just needed to get out on "paper". Thanks for putting up with all the bouncing around.



Cecilia said...

The last pic is my favorite, his lips are so very yummy! Soak up all that baby loving, I don't blame you one bit!

Kristin said...

First let me say BEAUTIFUL photos...I think they are wonderful!

I can understand what you are feeling and although my situation was way different...had a baby after a miscarriage...I still felt like I couldn't take anything for granted.

I too had a hard time letting Elijah cry it out. I was nursing for 10 months so for those first months I literally slept in a recliner with him at night. There was something about feeling him breathing in my arms that gave me such great joy. At 9 months though I knew I needed my bed and my nights back and we had 2 nights where he cried and cried and cried. But since then he sleeps through the night every night and I wouldn't trade those 1st severa months of bonding time for anything!

Love on those kiddos all you need!! :)

Many blessings to you!

Elizabeth said...

It's amazing how different we are with our living children after one goes to Heaven. You think you have all the time in the world until your world ends. So we tend to take more time with our earthly children (just in case). Cause God only knows when our final hour will be. I think you are wonderfully crazy about your new life. God bless! *hugs*

Cori Lynn said...

I am so happy for you and your little family. Seth is just precious and Ansley and Eli look like some proud big siblings :) Congrats!

sfretwell said...

Love the pictures! Thanks for sharing.

Rachel said...

Your posts always make me tear up!!! You are such an amazing woman and mother. I don't feel like you're doing anything wrong. Time goes so fast and life is too precious to let silly little things get in the way of time with your family =)

Traci Michele said...

LOVE all the pics... esp the last one! ahhhhhhh

YOU ARE making me want another baby! Stop it ;-)

Ann @ Momma's Soapbox said...

He's precious and you deserve to enjoy him however you wish. Thanks for this post, it has reminded me how special each of my babies are and how much I do cherish them. Thanks for that.

Sarita Boyette said...

He's just totally precious and I certainly understand your wanting to hold him so much and be more protective of him. I've been there & I agree with you 100%.

With Out My Punkin said...

Love your pictures!! I can't believe its been 2 weeks!

Holly said...

Love the pics you took! They are really good!! I am def more protective and hovering than I was before but I don't care. I think I have a right to!

crystal theresa said...

congratulations, danielle! i have been slowly working through my list of unread blogs and can't believe seth has been here for 2 weeks!!! the photos you took are absolutely gorgeous, and i love the momma-love that comes through your writing. simply beautiful.

Betty said...

He is so adorable. I love the pictures. Congrats.