Saturday, July 11, 2009
I have a couple of posts lurking around in the back of my head that I have been meaning to, well, post! This just happens to be one of them. I'll get around to the others eventually.
As you may very well know, Joseph and I had Wyatt cremated. I still makes me ill. I so would have preferred to have him buried, but that really wasn't an option for us. Joseph and I don't even know where we want to be buried. All of our family is in Florida, which feels more like "home" than here, but I'm sorry, I didn't want to have to drive 13 hours to put flowers on my sons grave. Plus, I'm not a big fan of cemeteries. I would prefer the only time I go to one is when I'm the one actually being lowered into the ground. Anyways, We hope in time to find a place up here that feels like home after we have settled down in our forever house. But right now, there is no such place.
As much as I am against cremation (just personal preference), I will admit it is nice to have "Wyatt" here in the house with us instead of having to drive somewhere to "visit" him.
When we started looking for an urn we were mortified by what we found. Everything looked like fancy cookie jars or ash trays. This wasn't acceptable for my son! We searched website after website trying to find the perfect urn for him with no luck. We still had not found one when Wyatt was born. But this is how wonderful God is...
I went back to In the Light Urns to order an urn Joseph and I had "settled" on. We weren't thrilled with it, but it would work until we found the one that was right for Wyatt. As soon as I clicked on infant urns, there it was! I have been to this site numerous times, and this urn had NOT been on the website before. As a matter of fact, with all the urn websites I've poured through, this was the very first time I saw it. I shouted to Joseph to come over to the computer... there was no disputing this was the urn we were meant to buy for our son.
And it gets even better... I swear God himself chose this urn to be Wyatt's. I didn't see it in the picture when we ordered it, but the baby has his finger in his mouth just like Wyatt used to do. Every ultrasound we had done, Wyatt had his fingers in or around his mouth. Joseph and I joked all throughout the pregnancy, that Eli was our right handed thumb sucker, and Wyatt was our left!
Upon inspecting the urn further, I noticed there was a slight imperfection on the face of the baby, but before I show you where, take a look at this picture of Wyatt... More specifically, his little nose.
Did you see the dent in the middle of his nose? It's kind of hard to see it in this picture...
Now look where the "imperfection" I found on the urn was...
The "imperfection" I found is what actually made the urn perfect. I really think God was showing off! (Not really) He was just showing us that he takes care of even the smallest details.
There were no coincidences here. God's hand was guiding everyone involved in this experience. I really thought getting Wyatt's urn in the mail would be a heartbreaking experience. I was dreading the day I would open the box and see his urn in person for the first time. It would make everything seem permanent. But God found a way to make a dreaded time into a bittersweet experience. Instead of crying because we were putting our son into an urn, we were able to rejoice! God cared! He made sure our urn was as individualized and as special as our son. Thank you Lord for your compassion and peace.