Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Recently, I managed to sneak away into town all by my lonesome little self. I found myself shuffling through the children's book section at our local Wal-Mart and ran across a children's prayer and meditation book that I decided to pick up for Ansley and Eli. It was filled with simple prayers for every occasion that are easy for kids to remember. As I was flipping through the book after I got home, I found a section on grief. There were a lot of nice prayers and verses but lets face it... they were all for kids.
Just before setting the book down a little prayer caught my eye.
"We thank you, God, that we are able to trust all that we are into your keeping, with faith that all that belongs to eternity will endure forever, and that nothing real can pass away."
Up until that moment, my heart was aching because my baby was gone. But is he? Did I really say good bye to him or just I'll see you again later? As Christians isn't it wonderful to have that blessed assurance? To know that when our loved one's belong to God's eternity we will see them again? To know that our earthly death means new life... a life that knows only beauty and happiness.
I equate the heartache I'm feeling to the long absence I will have without Wyatt physically being in my life... It is like a mother whose child will be moving to another part of the world and will live there for many years without the means to write or call... The mother knows in advance she wouldn't be there for birthdays, graduations, the day her child gets married, grandchildren's births... Can you imagine how hard that parting would be? How hard it would be for her to let her child go? How that mother's heart would ache to be a part of her child's life... I feel like that mother, only I don't have to worry about the fate of my baby. I know he is safe in God's keeping.
It has been One Month since I held my sweet little boy and kissed his soft chunky cheeks. It has also been One Month that Wyatt has been in heaven. No pain. No tears. No sorrow. Why would I ever want him here instead of in heaven, except for my own selfish desire to make my own pain stop... Wyatt will never have to know anything but love and I will take comfort in that. So, Happy One Month in Heaven my sweet, sweet little boy. We all miss you dearly and can't wait to see you again!