Sunday, November 15, 2009
Last night was the Marine Corps. Ball.
I've been excitedly anticipating AND dreading it all at the same time...
As it turns out, it was a night full of fake laughter and pretending to be genuinely happy to meet people. Wyatt lingered in the not so very back of my mind the entire ball. You see this time last year I was newly pregnant with Wyatt. Just over 5 weeks pregnant to be exact.
Last year I was so sick, I spent the entire course of dinner just trying not to get sick while everyone else ate. I joked with Joseph before we got there that if I needed to get sick and couldn't make it to the bathroom, his cover (white hat) would never be the same!
This year, I chowed down on a lovely meal but had a hard time getting the food to go past the lump I felt in my throat.
Last year, hearing people talk about the babies they just had was filled with excitement and anticipation for the new life growing inside me.
This year, hearing of a new baby made me long to hold my baby and frankly, made me a tad jealous. I know Marine Corps. Balls are filled with Reds, Blues, and Whites, but there were a couple of times when all I could see was green...
It think it all boils down to this:
Last year babies didn't die.
Unfortunately, this year, it's a reality I can't escape.
You wouldn't have been able to tell by looking at me that my heart was breaking, again. Or that I wished the entire ball, that I was at the 2008 ball instead of the 2009. I've gotten pretty good at faking it.
The whole evening wasn't a bust though...
I did enjoy being out with my husband. He looks so handsome in his dress blues (Of course, I think he's handsome all the time)... But put him in that uniform, and WOW!
Plus, I talked Joseph into taking me by steak n shake on the way home and I engorged myself with a frisco melt and a side of cheese fries :) I think that was my favorite part of the evening!
Here are some promised pictures from last night.
(You may notice I'm not wearing the dress I originally wanted to get. I ordered it, but didn't like it on me. It was a little too snug in the top for my comfort (I probably should have ordered one size larger and it would have been fine). I was able to send it back and get a full refund and found the dress you see me wearing at a local dress shop.)