You would think I would have learned and accepted by now, the fact that my plans are rarely ever God's plans...
Friday, November 13, 2009
For example, when I found out Joseph would be deployed to Iraq for a year back in 2005, I prayed for "God to give me something to keep me busy". I was thinking college and didn't specify, so God decided to answer my prayers with a baby! Not what I was thinking Lord... (but now that I have her I'm not giving her back).
Or what about when I actually asked God to send me another baby...
He answered my prayers, but then took Wyatt right back home within minutes of him joining our family. Again Lord, we must be getting our channels crossed somehow. That isn't exactly what I was talking about. I wanted him to STAY HERE!
So anyways, I've given up on growing our family through another pregnancy. Just three days ago I made the decision that Joseph and I would adopt in a year or two. So when we cleaned out our shed to make room for Joseph's "Man Cave" I got rid of ALL my maternity clothes and baby things. What's the point in keeping those items if I'm not planning on having more babies, right?
I really think God was laughing at me as I donated all my stuff to Goodwill.
Apparently, there is NO form of prevention from pregnancy that gets in the way of God smugly reminding you who's in control. Yes friends, I am indeed pregnant. We're talking dark pink line before I even pee on the stick good pregnant...
I've had the flu (I thought) and figured I was just late because of being sick... But after I hit two weeks of a no show by my monthly visitor, I decided to take a test for my peace of mind. In no way was I prepared for seeing that positive on the pregnancy test. If I wasn't already sitting down, I
would have think I would have passed out.
This is so scary. My heart wasn't ready for this, and as hard as I try, I just can't see myself bringing home this baby. It's probably just because I'm scared, but Lord, since I am pregnant, I pray with all my heart the outcome for this baby is much better.
I really didn't think I would ever have another baby of my own, much less be facing another pregnancy this soon. This blog will be a documentation of my thoughts and milestones with Wyatt's new baby brother or sister until I make my big reveal after our 18-20 week ultrasound. Until then, Wyatt's going to be a BIG BROTHER one way or another... I pray it's the way I'm hoping they will join our family.