Monday, September 21, 2009
If you have been reading my blog for a while now, you know my husband is in the Marine Corps. If you didn't know that little fact about our family, you do now!
Once a year Joseph's unit has a family day. Attendance is mandatory for Joseph, but optional for the rest of the family. I've always enjoyed family day. It seems each new family day that rolls around I've had a new member of the family to show off.
I didn't want to go this year.
I should have had a new family member to show off, but I didn't. I went to family day out of respect for Joseph because I knew it was important to him. It felt so wrong to be at a family function when our entire family wasn't present. Joseph had a good point. He said he's thankful for the family he has left here and wanted to show off the members of his family that he could because he's proud of us. How I got blessed with such a wonderful husband is beyond me. I wish I could think more like him. I am thankful for my family here... But, my mind is constantly stuck on the one who isn't.
Needless to say, family day was a struggle for me to get through. Wyatt was never mentioned. Although his name was never spoken out loud yesterday, my heart was screaming for him. I felt like I was suffocating silently.
I tried to stay away from all the babies.
Joseph tried to keep the babies away from me.
There were babies EVERYWHERE!
I immersed myself with taking pictures of my kids. I tried to look busy so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone. I even used my kids as an excuse to get out of conversations when I was forced to be somewhat sociable. " Oh that's great. That's just wonderful that your due in February, excuse me though, I need to take my daughter to the restroom..."
Everyone in my husbands unit probably thinks I'm a not so nice word.
I can't say I'd blame them for thinking about me that way. I felt like a not so nice word.
Let me just say, sunglasses are awesome! I left the unit in tears and nobody was any wiser. Joseph got me out of there early and I am so thankful. I just wanted to sit down in the grass and cry. I wanted to shout, "I had a baby too but he died. All I can show you is his picture, but wasn't he beautiful?!"
I'm glad family day is over. I have a complete year to prepare myself for the next one.
On a lighter note, Remember how I said I tried to look busy as I took pictures of the kids? Here's a couple of cute pictures I got.
Ansley with the balloon she
stole tactically acquired...
(She let it go and waved bye-bye as it went to heaven for Wyatt)
Eli in the jumper. He LOVED it.
Ansley in the jumper. She would only go in if Eli did first. Then she wouldn't get out!
The kids with Daddy.
They weren't too happy about sitting on the hood of the hummer... Can you tell?