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Monday, September 21, 2009

Family Day

If you have been reading my blog for a while now, you know my husband is in the Marine Corps. If you didn't know that little fact about our family, you do now!

Once a year Joseph's unit has a family day. Attendance is mandatory for Joseph, but optional for the rest of the family. I've always enjoyed family day. It seems each new family day that rolls around I've had a new member of the family to show off.

I didn't want to go this year.

I should have had a new family member to show off, but I didn't. I went to family day out of respect for Joseph because I knew it was important to him. It felt so wrong to be at a family function when our entire family wasn't present. Joseph had a good point. He said he's thankful for the family he has left here and wanted to show off the members of his family that he could because he's proud of us. How I got blessed with such a wonderful husband is beyond me. I wish I could think more like him. I am thankful for my family here... But, my mind is constantly stuck on the one who isn't.

Needless to say, family day was a struggle for me to get through. Wyatt was never mentioned. Although his name was never spoken out loud yesterday, my heart was screaming for him. I felt like I was suffocating silently.

I tried to stay away from all the babies.

Joseph tried to keep the babies away from me.

There were babies EVERYWHERE!

I immersed myself with taking pictures of my kids. I tried to look busy so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone. I even used my kids as an excuse to get out of conversations when I was forced to be somewhat sociable. " Oh that's great. That's just wonderful that your due in February, excuse me though, I need to take my daughter to the restroom..."

Everyone in my husbands unit probably thinks I'm a not so nice word.
I can't say I'd blame them for thinking about me that way. I felt like a not so nice word.

Let me just say, sunglasses are awesome! I left the unit in tears and nobody was any wiser. Joseph got me out of there early and I am so thankful. I just wanted to sit down in the grass and cry. I wanted to shout, "I had a baby too but he died. All I can show you is his picture, but wasn't he beautiful?!"

I'm glad family day is over. I have a complete year to prepare myself for the next one.

On a lighter note, Remember how I said I tried to look busy as I took pictures of the kids? Here's a couple of cute pictures I got.

Ansley with the balloon she stole tactically acquired...
(She let it go and waved bye-bye as it went to heaven for Wyatt)

Eli in the jumper. He LOVED it.

Ansley in the jumper. She would only go in if Eli did first. Then she wouldn't get out!

The kids with Daddy.

They weren't too happy about sitting on the hood of the hummer... Can you tell?



Nati @ I will praise Him said...

There's so much I'm wanting to tell you but I just can't put it into words. I don't think you're a not so nice word for feeling and acting the way you did at the family fest.

I've never experienced anything like you have, but I believe your behaviour is just normal and very understandable.

Praying for you!

Unknown said...

Totally understand you not wanting to go to the family thing but sometimes we have to suck it up for our hubbies even when we don't want to. Of course, all the babies were out. That's how it always works it seems. Sorry you had to deal with that!! Yes, thank goodness for sunglasses!! If they think you're a you know what then oh well and phooey on them!

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I am proud of you for going and supporting you husband. You poor thing, what a difficult day for you. How I pray that things could be different for you. The photos of Ansley & Eli are cute.

Caroline said...

Glad you went anyway but I can understand how hard it would have been for you. Great pics of kids & yay for sunglasses. {{HUGS}}

Mary said...

Anti-social is not a bad word. That is what I have become. I don't want to be in a room with pregnant people. I don't want to hear a baby cry. I completely understand you for this is where we are now. Maybe someday family day will be different for you. But for now, you deal the way you can.