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Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Birth Certificate Denied

I really don't have the energy to go into detail, but I wanted to give you a quick update on Wyatt's birth certificate drama. I promise I'll post in more detail later...

Apparently, according to Tennessee state law and regulations for determining a stillbirth, Wyatt's heart was not beating well enough, nor was he breathing well enough to be considered anything other than born still. I was told that technically he was alive, but medically he wasn't... seriously.

I don't even know how to swallow this pill. I am so angry and heartbroken. How dare they try to take away my son's life? The woman I talked to on the phone told me she didn't understand why I was so upset over "just two minutes"... Obviously, she's never lost a baby. Two minutes is an eternity when you're talking about the only time you'll ever have with your child.

I miss Wyatt. I wish he were here and all this would just go away.

Wyatt earned a birth certificate. I won't just roll over on this one.

I'm going to the hospital to get my records tomorrow.

I've sent a letter to our governor...

Apparently, I'll have to do nothing less than change the law to get my son's life recognized by this lovely little state. Well guess what, they've ticked off the wrong mother. If that's what I have to do, bring it on... just not tonight! My head aches, my eyes are swollen, and I'm too upset to think clearly... but tomorrow... they better watch out.

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22 comments:

Mary said...

Danielle that is just unbelievable. Where is the petition to have that corrected? I want to sign. Whatever you need me to do let me know.

Mary Ellen said...

I am heartbroken for you! Praying that you get some rest tonight and that tomorrow and the days to come windows and doors are flown open to help you fight this. Wyatt desearves that his beautiful life be recognized no matter how short or long it is!

Tina said...

Go get 'em Danielle!!! Sweet Watt deserves this. xx

Franchesca Cox said...

I am so sorry. May the hand of our God be with you on this feat. They can't take away the life that only God can give! I am so mad for you!! Lots of love and hugs.

Trisha Larson said...

You go girl!!! Get that puppy changed so that no one else has to you through this one. Let me know if you need any other letters of support for your file. I live in CA so I don't know if it will count but I'm willing to write if it will.

Hugs,
Trisha

Roxanne said...

Hi I am visiting from Holly's Blog. I am so sorry you were denied. I would have hoped even one breath would count.I hope you can change this law and maybe this was your precious sons purpose. Just maybe he was gave to you by god so you could change this law.

Roxanne

http://ourjourneyoftheunknown.blogspot.com/

The Blue Sparrow said...

I dont live in Tennessee but I will sign a petition if it would count. I am so sorry Danielle. He did earn his birth certificate. On what planet does a heartbeat and respirations, however poor, not mean life? He lived and then he died. That is what happened. That is wrong of them to try to take it from him and from you.

Lynnette Kraft said...

Bless your heart. I just hate all those details that so often get messed up. People just don't understand how it is to lose a baby.

I hope it all gets worked out.

Tenderly,
Lynnette

Just Breathe said...

((HUGS))

Anonymous said...

I am so very sorry that your sweet boy was denied a certificate of life. Only a parent who has lost a child can understand the importance of two minutes of life, or even two seconds,for that matter.He was alive, and God gave him breath for two minutes.I pray you are able to move mountains and get the birth certificate Wyatt deserves!
Blessings, Sarita sboyette@tx.rr.com

Holly said...

Oh Danielle, (((hugs)))

I can't believe they won't give Wyatt a birth certificate. He was born alive and he should get one. (IMO all babies should get one since they're born)

I hope that this can get taken care of quickly!

Ann said...

oh, I am so angry for you! How insensitve! Also, contact your local congressman/congresswoman....something has to be done....that's just ridiculous.

Missing Kasey said...

((hugs)) Wyatt is so proud of his mommy right now. I am too! The nerve of that lady to tell you that! He was here for 2 minutes and they should honor every single second of those 2 minutes!! Thinking of you,
Nicolle

JennWade said...

Wow, I am not a resident of TN but certainly would sign. I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I think I have a lot of perspective on this- yet never gone through it. See I was a Labor and Delivery nurse for 6 years and loved every minute of it. My husband now, boyfriend at the time..thoguht I would not be able to handle the losses. But instead after I got over the shock of caring for babies bodies that remained after they were gone to be with god. I realized that IT was up to me, if these moms had memories or terrible experiences that they tried to forget instead of treasure. SO I always carefully bathed my babies, put baby lotion on them- so they smell like the precious angels that they were, dressed them in perfect clothing taking care to be sure that they didn't leak from their mouth to get undesirable things on their pretty white clothes, etc. I love them, I took their hand and foot prints and clipped a first curl for the parents cause often times parents cannot bond with a baby that isn't breathing but it was always my hope that one day these little things would serve as precious memories for them as they had more time to reflect. I would wrap them up in warm blankets so that when I placed them into their mother's arms...they had a feeling of warmth- in hopes that this would make the process easier. Or I hoped so. and I cried with them and sat with them. I am so sorry for you loss and no one should have to ever experience this, but the reality is...so many women and families do. People do not understand it. Often even women do not. I did not have children when i did all these things. but now I do, and from the moment you have a positive test...it is real and it is 100% certified!!! Cause from that moment God's hand is there guiding that life. I commend you for your fight and will spread the word..in hopes of breaking your #338!!!
Prayers lifted,
Jenn

bmolavi said...

I'm amazed and deeply moved by Wyatt' story! he truly was a fighter and his life should be recognized!

Jenni Saake (a.k.a. InfertilityMom) said...

Dear Danielle,
I am so sorry to hear of the death (and yes, that means there was LIFE first) of your precious, sweet Wyatt. I would be livid and am stunned at the audiacity of the woman on the phone to question why you would be so upset over this! I don't live in TN but will be passing your story along to a pregnancy/infant loss support network I'm associated with and hopefully find you a few more friends to join you in your battle for justice for Wyatt.

Hugs and Prayers!
Jenni Saake
author Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage & Adoption Loss
co-founder, Hannah's Prayer Ministries Christian support for infertility or the death of a baby at any time from conception through early infancy

Hippie4ever said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Of course he was alive...he was breathing his heart was beating...how horrible to deny him an existence! I'm praying for you, your family and your fight. God bless.

Kathryn said...

Hi, I found your blog through a post on "Like a Warm Cup of Coffee." I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your son. I'm even more sorry that you can't get a birth certificate for him! The more I think about it - the dumber the law sounds!! I believe that he was born ALIVE and that he deserves a birth certificate. But you already know that! I hope and pray that you are able to change that stupid law! Best wishes!

Kris said...

I can't even imagine going through something like this. As a "southern mother" I'm ashamed of this. Girl you go after them and get it recognized...someone needs to reiterate to them what the definition of living is. God bless you!

MamaHen Em said...

This just breaks my heart for you. I'll be signing that petition and praying for you. A child who takes a breath is a child who lived, even if that breath was shallow - HE BREATHED.

SSBenjamins said...

I had a stillbirth at 24 weeks, I have lost 2 others. YOU should have had a Birth Certificate. I WILL SIGN and I will grab your button as well.. I am so sorry for this, it's so hard and hard enough when you loose a baby. I am following your blog. Thank You.

heidi jo said...

grrrr!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm disgusted - this is just hideously ridiculous. HIDEOUS!!! you honor wyatt and human life well by fighting for this recognition of born ALIVE.