Turning into a Smurf

I have so much to update you all on, but I will post that soon in another post.

I have something really weird happening to me right now, and I'd really appreciate prayers for mine and baby Seth's health. While we were on vacation, my hands started turning blue! Yes, I typed that correctly... my hands are turning blue. It started out that my knuckles looked like they'd come in contact with blue dye somehow. I started trying to wash it off and realized it was my actual knuckles that were blue. After that, my hands started to do the same thing, followed by my fingernails.

I called my doctor and he suggested something called Reynold's phenomenon (RP). I researched this condition, and I found that what triggers the hands to turn blue are cold temperatures. However, my hands are turning blue even when they are warm. I'm worried this may be a circulation problem and that Seth may not be getting the oxygen or nutrients he needs. I also worry about the timing of this weird problem starting up... which is about the time the placenta completely took over.

Dr. Joy said if it is RP there is no need for concern. He said he would simply address it at my next appointment and that he would keep an eye on it. He said as long as there was no pain that it should be fine. But still, it doesn't make me feel any better about turning into a smurf!

As you can imagine, I've been pretty worried about Seth this last week, although I can feel him move and his heartbeat has been around 155 bpm each time I check his heart rate through out the day.

Ansley did something today that completely caught me off guard. She came up to me to kiss baby Seth through my belly (which is normal), but she asked me when baby Seth was going to go to heaven. I was completely caught off guard and well, that was really bad timing for her to ask me that question with my current health concerns for myself and Seth.

I told her we hoped that God let baby Seth stay here with us and that he wouldn't need Seth in heaven for a very long time. I mean, what else do you say to that?

I sit here tonight very unsure of what is happening to my body and if it is affecting my baby. But I gave Ansley the very advise I needed to trust in myself. I don't know what God's plan is for our family, but I have hope that he will allow baby Seth to stay here with our family. Worrying over something I have no control over isn't going to do me any good so I just need to trust God to bring our family through whatever plan he has for us. Easier said than done, but I'm really trying here! Will you all still love me if I become a smurf?!