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Monday, March 22, 2010

Like He Never Existed

I'm having one of my darker days today. My husband and I both are...

I've been trying for the last 2 weeks, calling every couple of days, to get in touch with Representative Montgomery concerning getting Tennessee's definition of live birth changed, to no avail. I've been pretty discouraged. How am I supposed to get something done if I can't even get somebody to call me back?

Anyways, Joseph went up to the funeral home today to get Wyatt's death certificate, or to at least find out how we would go about getting it. I haven't pursued the issue because I didn't like the idea of having a death certificate in this house when I wasn't able to have a birth certificate...

Well, now I'd be happy to have it.

Joseph was told by the funeral home that since there is no official birth, that means there was no official death either. It absolutely breaks my heart that Wyatt's life can just be overlooked like that. According to this state it's like I never even had a baby. I want to scream. I'm typing this through tears. How can they overlook such a sweet, precious life? How can two minutes that meant the world to Wyatt's father and I not have any weight in this world... in this state?

I don't care if Wyatt was stillborn, he still lived. He deserves something official stating that he was here. I'd even settle for a death certificate at this point. WYATT LIVED! How can they not recognize that not only did he live, but he died as well. What a slap in the face!

MY BABY DIED!

HE WAS ALIVE, BUT THEN HE DIED!

I GAVE BIRTH!

I HAVE THE SCAR FROM THE C-SECTION WHERE HE WAS RIPPED AWAY FROM MY BODY!

MY MILK CAME IN TO NURTURE THE LIFE THAT WAS GROWING INSIDE OF ME!

I'm furious, I'm heartbroken, I'm appalled. Wyatt existed. Why can't I get this ridiculous state to acknowledge him?

Will you please pray for God to start opening doors, or windows, or even crawl spaces in the floor for our family to finally get some type of recognition that Wyatt lived and was important. If he wasn't important to anyone else, he was important to me. Does that not count for anything?

Photobucket


19 comments:

The Blue Sparrow said...

I am so sorry Danielle! Even I got a death certificate and Bryston never took one breath outside of me. That is ridiculous. Sending prayers asap! *HUGS*

Cori Lynn said...

Oh Danielle, I am so sorry and I can't imagine your pain. I live in TN and have signed your petition. I wish I could help you...if there is a way...please let me know! I hurt for you...this made me cry.

Please know you are in my prayers!

Ashley D said...

I am so sorry Danielle. This has got to be so frustrating and heartbreaking. I just want to give you a huge hug right now. He most certaintly deserves a birth certificate... he was born, you have birth... what are these people missing that they can't see this!?

Melody said...

I am so sorry. How can you have a funeral with no death? How can you have a DEATH with no LIFE? It makes no sense. He was born, he lived, he died! I am going to pray that this get changed and fixed for you!

Jus and Kat said...

Wow, Danielle, I don't even know what to say . . . the anger, the frustration! Of course Wyatt's life had weight. He lived. He died. And not having people acknowledge that . . . I'm just . . . at a loss for words.

I'm so sorry.
Kat @ In Dylan's Memory

Franchesca Cox said...

I'm so sorry, Danielle. I had been wondering how that was going. I am so sorry. I am sure all the state reps and senators are too wrapped up in healthcare right now. I am sure they will be getting back with you. Have you tried contacting papers and news channels about it? I will pray with you about God opening some doors, huge doors for you to get your baby boy recognition.

Trisha Larson said...

It's so hard to understand. I just spent a few moments staring at the photo on your blog of Wyatt. That photo is proof of his existance. How can they deny that.

As frustrating as it must be to deal with the state of Tennessee, know that God recognized his life. He knit him together in your womb. He knew his number of days before you did. He will NEVER deny Wyatt!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hugs,
Trisha

With Out My Punkin said...

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this! Thinking of you guys and hoping you get a hold of the right person to get the ball rolling again!

Beth said...

Try to recontact Richard Floyd. Since they are back in session, he may be able to do something. Praying for your family.

Low Expectations said...

I am so sorry Danielle. I'll be keeping you and Wyatt in my thoughts and hope that something comes through.

croleyc69 said...

I'm so sorry Danielle. This all is crazy so much. I don't blame you for being upset. It just isn't right. Praying for you all so much. {{HUGS}}
Caroline

Jess said...

It makes no sense to me. If I didn't go through birth, I'd like to know what I went through & why I'm in debt for it since it never happened.

When our son died, we were told we'd get a death certificate. When I got it, I wish I never did. It's a "fetal death certificate." Has nothing about him, nothing at all. Has my name & the name of the hospital, list that he had an autopsy & where he was "disposed" of. And the doctor signed under a lovely note of "on the date above, I certify that this fetus was passed dead."

Again, I wish someone explained to me BEFORE that labor & delivery thing that it wasn't really labor & delivery. Silly me.

It's a hot topic for me...obviously.

Traci Michele said...

Yes I will! This just breaks my heart .... for you! Man!

Beth said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm praying.

Holly said...

Danielle, that doesn't seem right at all. I've never heard of a state not issuing a death certificate in a situation like yours. We got one for Carleigh even though she was stillborn. Have you spoke with the office of vital records at all? If not, I'd call them.

Here's for the TN dept of health office of vital records:
(615) 741-1763

I tried to look online but it didn't say anything about it so it'd be best to call and ask personally.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this too!

Annie said...

Oh, Danielle, I cannot even imagine how you are hurting. I pray you'll be able to get recognition from TN for Wyatt's life.

Jaime said...

It counts for everything, Danielle. Keep at it and I am sure good things will follow. Smile through your tears and know that you have the love and support of many around the world rallying for you and for your precious little son, Wyatt.

Jaime
xo

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry - my heart just hurts for you.You are already in my prayers every night and I will just pray harder. Wyatt did live and he did matter. I just hope the Tennessee government realizes that soon, so you can have some peace in knowing that they recognize the importance of Wyatt's life.
Hugs and blessings, Sarita
sboyette@tx.rr.com

Rikki said...

I am so so sorry that this is such a fight for you. Some laws are just ridiculous. You definantly shouldnt have to fight for something that u shoudl have a right to have.
Wyatt is definantly important and to many more people then just your family, he is important to many people all over the world including me. I really wish that your state could see that.
((HUGS))
Xxx