A Special Thanks

I have just been a terrible person. I have received some beautiful gifts from people and it's taken me forever to actually sit dow, write a post, and thank everyone... I swear there just haven't been enough hours in the day!

Getting Eli potty trained wouldn't have anything to do with my lack of time to blog...

Nor would my insane schedule with recent photo shoots...

Or even the Marine Corps. Ball...

Or Birthday parties...

Or "Spring" Cleaning...

Anyways, I'm here now. I will apologize ahead of time for the length of this post. I have quite a few things to write about :)

First of all, I want to thank Holly for the beautiful fall picture I received in my inbox last week. I LOVE seeing Wyatt's name written in the world. It makes me feel like a part of him is still here.

Also, thanks to Rikki for taking the time to write Wyatt's name while on a walk in the fernery. I thought it was sweet that she said she felt like it was the perfect place to take a picture of Wyatt's name because the fernery was dedicated to all good moms. Thanks you so much for thinking about Wyatt.

I also received a picture from Jennifer ages ago and just never posted about it. Sorry Jennifer! I would have never thought to do this, but she wrote Wyatt's name in flour. It looked really neat with the dark background for contrast.

I will cherish each of these pictures for the rest of my life. It means so much to have someone think about Wyatt without me having to bring him up. It truly means the world to me!

And you know what? I have a couple of sneaky Wednesdays for Wyatt winners! Apparently Jennifer from The Blue Sparrow, and April from Our Broken Hearts got my address from the packages I sent them... Anyways, I was completely surprised when I received these beautiful gifts in the mail.

From Jennifer I received this gorgeous frame with a "W" etched in the glass, as well as a picture frame I will use to put a black and white picture of Wyatt in:

And from April I got this hand painted Christmas ornament of Wyatt for my Christmas tree this year:

I wasn't wanting to put up a tree this year, but I have to now because I can't wait to see these ornaments adorn our tree this Christmas season! Thanks girls...

From Celia I received this sweet reunion heart with a very touching poem. We talk quite frequently but she sealed her lips that she was sending this to me and I was pleasantly surprised when Joseph brought the mail in. Here is a picture of the stone and the poem that follows (sorry I couldn't get the heart picture any larger):

Since Heaven has become your home

I sometimes feel I'm so alone;

and though we now are far apart

you hold a big piece of my heart

I never knew how much I'd grieve

when it was time for you to leave,

or just how much my heart would ache

from that one fragment you would take

God lets this tender hole remain

reminding me we'll meet again,

and one day all the pain will cease

when He restores this missing piece.

He'll turn to joy my every tear

with thoughts of you I hold so dear,

and they'll become my special way

to treasure our Reunion Day.

Last, but not least, I ordered a couple of custom statues from The Midnight Orange and I just received them today. They scream Wyatt to me and I am beyond happy with the way they turned out.

The elephant with the "Angel Wyatt" riding it, I had made for myself...

And the star statue I had done for Joseph as a gift from Wyatt for Christmas. I just know he will love it because stars hold special meaning to him.

Thank you again to all who thought of Wyatt! And thank you to everyone who offer prayers for our family... we can feel our family being lifted in love and prayers every single day.

Wyatt's Due Date

I have been dreading tomorrow since the day we learned of Wyatt's diagnosis. Most woman can't wait for their due dates to arrive, but I knew my due date would most likely be the day I would have to give Wyatt back to God. I just wanted to keep Wyatt safe, and if that meant staying pregnant forever, well, I would surely try!

God apparently had other plans for me than being the first mother ever to stay pregnant her entire life, and took Wyatt to his eternal home 47 days ago. So now, there is a completely new sadness surrounding Wyatt's due date. What if I made it to this day? That would have been 47 more days I could have gotten to spend with my son. Would he of lived longer if he were able to develop more? I already know my answers to these questions... Wyatt lived every second here on this earth that God meant for him to live. But that still doesn't lessen the sting of what tomorrow represents. I have seriously contemplated sleeping the entire day away just so I wouldn't have to face it. That's healthy, right?!

Actually, I was hoping Joseph would be able to take tomorrow off of work so we could do something special as a family, but he wasn't able to. So, we sent our love to heaven for Wyatt today... Let me explain.

Ansley has been coloring pictures for Wyatt lately. When she finishes a new picture for her baby brother, she says, "Mommy, I colored a picture for Wyatt! I want to give it to him. Please mommy, I want to give it to Wyatt."

So I tell her to hold it over her head really high towards the sky so Wyatt can see it from heaven. This worked for a while (she would even stand on her tip toes to give Wyatt a better view), but she has become very adamant about wanting to GIVE the picture she colored to Wyatt. So I decided I would let her do just that!

Ansley colored a very special turtle picture to send Wyatt... Joseph and I wrote him a letter... and we attached them all to three big helium balloons. We made our way up to the top of a pretty hill near our house... hugged and kissed the balloons... and let them fly away to heaven carrying all of our love with them.

The weather was beautiful, and I can't imagine a more perfect way of celebrating the day we were supposed to meet our son. I walked away from that hill with a peace that completely encompassed me. I know the balloons probably just made it over the tree line, but Ansley really believes her baby brother got his turtle picture and all of the hugs and kisses we sent him. I truly believe today was a day of healing for every member of our family, and I know tomorrow will be a little easier to face. Who knows, I might actually attempt getting out of bed!