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Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Beautiful Moments

Our family has traveled a very rough road these last 8 months... We went from overwhelming joy to be expecting another child, to being heartbroken when we finally had to give Wyatt back to God...


We lived our lives in a constant limbo of preparing for the worst and having faith that God would perform a miracle and heal our son. I did not have an easy pregnancy by any measure. I often found myself being forced to find and stay focused on the positive aspects of my time with Wyatt instead of dwelling on how uncomfortable I was. Seeing Wyatt and knowing we breathed the same air for two precious moments made every ache and pain seem trivial...


I went from crying tears of joy when the doctor told me Wyatt was alive to being in utter disbelief when Joseph returned holding Wyatt and telling me that his time with us here had run its course. I had really hoped God would answer our prayers with a different answer... I so wanted to hear Wyatt's little cry. To hold him close to me and feel his little heart beating against my chest. I said hello and goodbye to Wyatt all at the same time.

Although Joseph and I never actually got to hold Wyatt alive, I want to share with you some of my favorite moments with him. Moments that we only received because Wyatt was a fighter. Moments that we received against all odds. Moments we were never supposed to get...

After Wyatt passed and was wrapped in a blanket, Joseph brought him over and laid his little body next to my head... The hospital staff unstrapped my arm from the table so that I could reach out and touch him. His body was so warm. I snuggled my check against his body and basked in his warmth. It was my moment to praise God for giving my son life...for giving him warmth.


When we got back to my room, I uncovered Wyatt to get a better look at his tiny hands and feet... they were so small. We were never able to get a good look at his hands and feet by ultrasound, but they were just perfect. Wyatt always seemed to have his right hand in his mouth during our ultrasounds and it was amazing to finally get a chance to hold onto that little hand and kiss his tiny feet.



Looking back over the last week and a half, I must say we were incredibly blessed that God chose to give us Wyatt. Yes, knowing and loving Wyatt brought a heartache greater than anything we have ever known (only because it hurt so much to give him back), but it also brought a love and beauty to our lives that will forever shine its light in our family. The world is a better place just for having Wyatt in it, even if just for two minutes...



3 comments:

Kristi said...

What a wonderful gift Wyatt is! I'm so sorry that he's gone home ahead of y'all... I can't even imagine. Your peace is something I hope to achieve. I haven't lost a child, at least not in this sense, but in other ways (though I would NEVER call that comparable!!)

I read several of your posts and just felt the need to tell you that just as Wyatt is a gift in the lives of your family, you have been a gift to me today. Thank you...

Kelly @ The Beauty of Sufficient Grace said...

I came here to meet you and thank you for following my blog...and instead, I am meeting your beautiful Wyatt and crying as I read the words of your journey. I am so sorry for the heartache, so grateful for this little life, and the moments of true love and grace from our loving God that have carried you...and He will continue to carry you all. Praying His continued comfort and sufficient grace for your family...

I would really like to send you a Dreams of You Memory Book and Comfort Bear. If you would like one, please email me at sufficientgraceministries@gmail.com. Or, if there is anything we can do.

Love and Prayers,
Kelly Gerken
Sufficient Grace Ministries

Christy B said...

Your story really touched me as our third daughter Isabella was born the same exact day as Wyatt. Thank you for sharing and reminding us all that God is in control and that in His arms is the best place for us. I will pray for your family as you grieve and as God continues to show Himself to each of you. May He bless you with unspeakable joy and many more blessings to come. You have been a blessing to me today and so many more people I am sure! Love in Christ,
Christy Goettel