Wednesday, April 29, 2009
On November 5, 2008, I got a positive pregnancy test. On that same day, Joseph and I upheld a tradition we started back in 2006... We bought the newest edition of our family their very 1st toy! Although we didn't know we were having another son at this point, this little stuffed elephant was the last one left in the store and somehow managed to leap from the shelf into my arms. If that wasn't a sign he was meant for our child, I don't know what is!
Coincidently, Ansley and Eli LOVE elephants! Joseph can make this really realistic elephant sound and the kids squeal with delight every time he does it. Mommy on the other hand CAN NOT make the elephant noise. The kids like us to read them a bedtime story called "Polar bear polar bear what do you hear?". It is a MUST READ every single night before bedtime prayers. Joseph was working with the Marines on a week long deployment a few months ago, so I was left with the task of animal noises! I did all the animal sounds to the kids satisfaction , but when I got to the elephant noise, I honestly sounded (and probably looked) like a dying duck! Ansley gave me a puzzled look and said, "Silly mommy. What does the ELEPHANT say?" I again attempted to make the elephant noise and failed miserably! So miserably in fact, that Ansley put her hand over my mouth and told me that daddy would do it when he got home!
Okay, I'm rambling... back to Wyatt's elephant! I wanted to introduce you to this elephant because you will be seeing Mr. Phant (His full name is Mr. El E. Phant) for years to come. Joseph and I were talking about how depressing family photographs will be when the entire family will not be able to be present for the photograph... I am so scared people will forget about Wyatt just because he won't be able to stay with us long. Our solution is Mr. Phant. Whenever you see a picture of Wyatt's elephant, It will be a subtle reminder that he is still a part of our family. It will be a reminder of the joy he has brought to this world.
I promise I am not some weird woman who thinks this stuffed elephant can take the place of her son! I just want that stated very plainly out in the open. I merely want to use this elephant (his very first toy) to outwardly symbolize that we will carry Wyatt in our hearts as a family for the rest of our lives.
For now though, Wyatt is still fighting to stay with us! He is such a strong little boy, and I am so proud of him! I still believe God can perform a miracle and heal our son, and I pray for it everyday. Until God reveals what his ultimate plan is for Wyatt, I am letting go, letting God, and trying to prepare for every possible outcome.