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Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Elephants


It started with one elephant.

A stuffed animal to mark the life of a new baby we would be adding to our family.

How appropriate we chose an elephant...

An elephant never forgets. Even when the rest of the world moves on...

I will never forget.

I'll never forget all the sweet babies of my friends, who have left this earth too soon...

Noah Benjamin...

Carleigh...

Nate...

Lukas...

Sophie and Ellie...

Aaron...

Jenna Belle...

Hudson...

Noah...

Bryston...

Vayden...

Jasper...

Samuel...

Josiah...

Anna...

And so many other sweet children...

Wyatt's playmates in heaven.

But for the rest of my life, Elephants will forever bring a smile to my face. They somehow make me feel closer to my sweet Wyatt.

Yes, it started with one elephant.

This elephant.

And it's slowly becoming a collection.




It might seem weird, but really, I don't care... Elephants make me smile! I'll take anything that makes me smile and run with it.


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Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Petition

On June 1, 2009 my son, Wyatt Nathaniel Finchum was born at 10:03 a.m. He had a faint heartbeat and was breathing, which was a miracle, as doctors advised us we would probably never see him alive. He died two minutes later. However, due to Tennessee’s definition of “live birth”, my doctor was not able to medically acknowledge his life. He was listed as stillborn.


I won’t deny the fact that my son was dying as soon as he was born, but he lived... he fought to breathe for those two minutes and his life deserves to be acknowledged. I would like to get Tennessee’s definition of live birth amended to a more acceptable definition that recognizes life
no matter how short it may be.


It currently states:

"...the complete expulsion or extraction from its mother of a product of human conception, irrespective of the duration of the pregnancy, that, after such expulsion or extraction, breathes or shows any other evidence of life, such as beating of the heart, pulsation of the umbilical cord, or definite movement of voluntary muscles, whether or not the umbilical cord has been cut or the placenta is attached. Heartbeats shall be distinguished from transient cardiac contraction, and respirations shall be distinguished from fleeting respiratory efforts or gasps..."

I propose the definition to be changed to the State of Maine’s definition which states:

"...the complete expulsion or extraction from its mother of a product of human conception, irrespective of the duration of the pregnancy, that, after such expulsion or extraction, breathes or shows any other evidence of life, such as beating of the heart, pulsation of the umbilical cord, or definite movement of voluntary muscles, whether or not the umbilical cord has been cut or the placenta is attached. Each product of such a birth is considered live born and fully recognized as a human person under Maine (change to Tennessee) Law.


If you are a Tennessee resident, and support life to be recognized, please sign this petition. Also, listed below is a link to our elected officials contact information. E-mails, letters of support, and phone calls to these officials are greatly appreciated. I appreciate your help in getting my son’s life recognized, and preventing other families from being told their child’s life was “not worth recognizing”.

If you are NOT a Tennessee resident, but have family or friends in Tennessee, please direct them to my petition or have them contact their local representative, congressmen, senator, and governor. All local contact information for Tennessee can be found at: http://www.tennesseeanytime.org/government/elected.html

(You can link up with Mcklinky at the bottom of this post even if you are NOT a Tennessee resident)


My personal points of contact are as follows.


Representative Richard Montgomery

301 6th Avenue North
Suite 201 War Memorial Building
Nashville, TN 37243
Phone (615) 741-5981
Fax (615) 253-0303

rep.richard.montgomery@capitol.tn.gov

Senator Doug Overbey

301 6th Avenue North
Suite 4 Legislative Plaza
Nashville, TN 37243
Phone: (615) 741-0981

sen.doug.overbey@capitol.tn.gov

Governor Phil Bredesen

Governor's Office
Tennessee State Capitol
Nashville, TN 37243-0001

Phone: 615.741.2001
Fax: 615.532.9711
Phil.Bredesen@tn.gov

Please go to http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/recognize-life-in-tennessee to sign the petition I created. Once you have done so, or you just want to show your support and don't live in Tennessee, link up on McKlinky. Thank you for your support and prayers.

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MckLinky Blog Hop

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Wyatt's Video

I just realized the picture video I made for Wyatt right after he was born, somehow got deleted from the bottom of my blog. I've reposted it, so if you would like to watch it, scroll down to the bottom of my blog... (Make sure you silence my playlist first) :) I hope you enjoy it.

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Lost

I've been doing something dangerous.

Something I try not to let myself do, but fall victim to daily.

I let my mind wander.

I think.

What have I been thinking about?

A single word.

Lost.

How many times have I heard that word when I hear someone say a loved one has gone on to heaven? How many times have I used those very words myself? "I lost my son Wyatt three months ago shortly after birth".

But that's not a true statement.

Sure, I've lost so much concerning my son...

Birthdays.

Graduations.

My hopes.

My dreams.

My Plans for my family, for my life, that included all three of my children.

I lost everything I hoped to know about him...

But I've never lost my son.

Saying "I lost my son" implies that I have no idea where he is, and that simply isn't true. He's in heaven. A place that has to be so much better than where I'm sitting. A place where my son can just be. A place where he doesn't have to navigate through a temporary life and try to find God's beauty in the world... God's beauty is all he knows. Wyatt is in a place my heart longs for.

I want my heartache to go away, and I just don't see that happening this side of heaven. It scares me that I'm growing accustomed to living with this heartache. I have moments where it almost feels "normal". The hurt, the tears, the physical aching of my body to hold my son again... They've become so much a part of my life, I worry this IS my new normal. But enough of that...

Yes, my son is gone, but he's not lost. I take what comfort I can, in simply knowing where he is and that he's safe. God gave me the son I prayed for, but took him back so I would savor him all the more when I finally make it to heaven. I sure wish God would have asked me for MY thoughts on the matter. But he didn't. However, I trust God had a greater purpose for Wyatt than any of my hopes or dreams could have afforded him. I lose sight of that often and have to remind myself constantly that God is in control, he always has been. I just wish I didn't have to wait for heaven before all of this makes perfect sense to me. I'm not a patient woman!

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Thursday, September 3, 2009

A Long Road Ahead

The Tennessee Code Annotated (T.C.A.)68-3-102(9) defines 'live birth' as "...the complete expulsion or extraction from its mother of a product of human conception, irrespective of the duration of the pregnancy, that, after such expulsion or extraction, breathes or shows any other evidence of life, such as beating of the heart, pulsation of the umbilical cord, or definite movement of voluntary muscles, whether or not the umbilical cord has been cut or the placenta is attached."

In 2005 this last line was added...

"Heartbeats shall be distinguished from transient cardiac contraction, and respirations shall be distinguished from fleeting respiratory efforts or gasps..."

Because of the added line, my doctor had no choice but to determine Wyatt as being still born because he was dying as soon as he was born. THIS NEEDS TO BE AMENDED!

Because of this line, my doctor was not ABLE to medically acknowledge my son's attempt to breathe. (In her defense, she personally acknowledges he did live, and had jumped through hoops to try and help me)

How many other mothers have had to go through this?

To be honest with you, I really am not sure where to go from here. If you have any suggestions or ideas, my door is open. Getting a state regulation amended was never something I thought I'd be asked to do... The road in front of me is overwhelming and, well, scary. But...

I will fight this.

I will get a birth certificate for my son.

I'm not naive, I know this will be a long road...

It will probably be years before I get a birth certificate in my hands. But I know in my heart of hearts, that day will come.

I've stated before that "I knew there was more to Wyatt's life than we've seen", and I'm starting to believe this is the part we haven't seen yet...

Wyatt accomplished his greatest feat... now it's my turn.

Through God's miracle and Wyatt's fighting spirit, a new path has been set before me. It's a path that will no doubt bring frustration along with the unknowing, but it's another path I HAVE to take.

So buckle your seat belts, I have a feeling this will be a LONG and bumpy ride!

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Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Birth Certificate Denied

I really don't have the energy to go into detail, but I wanted to give you a quick update on Wyatt's birth certificate drama. I promise I'll post in more detail later...

Apparently, according to Tennessee state law and regulations for determining a stillbirth, Wyatt's heart was not beating well enough, nor was he breathing well enough to be considered anything other than born still. I was told that technically he was alive, but medically he wasn't... seriously.

I don't even know how to swallow this pill. I am so angry and heartbroken. How dare they try to take away my son's life? The woman I talked to on the phone told me she didn't understand why I was so upset over "just two minutes"... Obviously, she's never lost a baby. Two minutes is an eternity when you're talking about the only time you'll ever have with your child.

I miss Wyatt. I wish he were here and all this would just go away.

Wyatt earned a birth certificate. I won't just roll over on this one.

I'm going to the hospital to get my records tomorrow.

I've sent a letter to our governor...

Apparently, I'll have to do nothing less than change the law to get my son's life recognized by this lovely little state. Well guess what, they've ticked off the wrong mother. If that's what I have to do, bring it on... just not tonight! My head aches, my eyes are swollen, and I'm too upset to think clearly... but tomorrow... they better watch out.

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Tuesday, September 1, 2009


I am greatly humbled by the nominations I have received for blog awards over the last couple of days. I really don't consider my blog as being "award" worthy, as there are so many other blogs out there who do a much better job of sharing their hearts than I do. Just take a look at the blogs I follow, and you will see an entire lists' worth of blogs far more qualified to receive an award than mine is.

According to what I've read, this award is for bloggers who write honestly from their heart, from the depth of their soul. There are some simple rules to accept this award. Firstly, pass the award on to 7 other bloggers and secondly, list 10 honest and hopefully interesting things about yourself.

Over the last day, I was nominated for this award by three sweet ladies:

1.) Jennifer from The Blue Sparrow. Jennifer and her husband Ty gave birth to their first born son on July 24th. His name was Bryston, a handsome little guy, who has gone on to his eternal home. Their loss is very new, so please, if you feel led, head over and love on them.

2.) Franchesca from Handprints from Heaven. Franchesca was called to surrender her sweet Jenna Belle just thirteen days after birth, and there is still no explanation as to why her daughter passed away. Jenna was just precious. I love the picture at the top of her blog where Jenna has a cute little bow in her hair!

3.) Sarah from Footprints of Angels. Sarah is the mother of four precious babies. Three of her babies are in heaven, and one sweet little boy is here keeping her busy... Very busy, I can imagine, as he is two!

Thank you so much to all three of these sweet women!

I have actually had the pleasure of receiving this award in the past. Just click here to see who I nominated previously. It was so hard to pick just seven people to nominate for the award then... I really don't think I will be able to pick just seven people this time. But I urge you to check out the blogs in my following list, as I hold each and every blog I follow, very dearly to my heart. I may not post very often on these blogs, but I read each post. I laugh, cry, and pray with these families on a daily basis.

I will however try my best to come up with ten new facts about myself (wouldn't want you to think I was trying to be lazy!). I don't know how *interesting* these facts will be, but I'll do my best to come up with facts you probably didn't know...

1.) Shoes are my favorite accessories. I buy my shoes first and THEN I find my outfit to go with them. Although I have TONS of shoes I wear the same 2-3 pair of flip flops.

2.) I am a jewelry freak, but any jewelry I purchase has to have the right personality. I hate cookie cutter jewelry, so I mostly wear Brighton jewelry. I feel it reflects my personality!

3.)We sponsor a little girl named Maria from Colombia. Maria and Ansley are only three months apart in age. I hope to sponsor a little boy that was born on Wyatt's birthday when finances permit.

4.)Chocolate, peanut butter, and Godiva chocolate cheesecake from the cheesecake factory are my weaknesses. My favorite sandwich is a peanut butter and M&M sandwich. MMmmm!

5.)Christmas is my all time FAVORITE part of the year. My tree goes up in October and Christmas music plays all year round in our house. I once thought about starting my own Christmas tree decorating business, but decided I had enough trees (5 to be exact) in my own house to worry about. I'm worried about how I will deal with Christmas this year... Last Christmas we didn't know there was anything wrong with Wyatt. I held my stomach and told Joseph how excited I was that "next Christmas we would have three babies to celebrate this time of year with", which brings me to #6...

6.) Joseph and I still plan on buying gifts for Wyatt this Christmas (well, every Christmas) and donate to a family that has a son around the same age as Wyatt, who is less fortunate. Our love for Wyatt will help another baby have a great Christmas :)

7.)I could live in the kitchen. I am always experimenting with new recipes. Recipeezaar.com is visited daily. I HAVE caught part of the kitchen on fire ONCE. OOPS!

Joseph was in the next room and he hears me yell, "Joseph, could you come in her please... quickly!"

"What is it dear?", he sleepily reply's from the couch..
"Umm, the kitchen is kind of on fire..."

My husband about jumped through the roof. Luckily he was able to get it out for me. (In my defense, this happened in our newly wed days when I was just learning how to cook!)

8.)Forget roses…unusual flowers are the way to go. Stargazer lilies, Iris’, Sunflowers, Tulips, gardenia's …

9.) Sunsets still take my breath away. Actually, I think they are more special to me since Wyatt's passing. When I look up into the sky and watch a beautiful sunset, I feel just a little bit closer to heaven. I like to think my son is just on the other side of that sunset witnessing the same beauty as I am.

10.) Elephants will forever remind me of my son. We bought Wyatt a stuffed elephant the day we found out we were pregnant. How appropriate, as an elephant never forgets!
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