Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
I am wearing a pair of shoes. They are ugly shoes, uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes, they are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes, uncomfortable shoes.
I would like to take a moment to direct you to a new site that was started by Stephanie Stewart called, "My Very Own Angel". It is a place of support for those who are trying to decide whether they should carry to term once a fatal diagnosis has been received. All of the website's content is 100% supportive of continuing the pregnancy. There is even a place where I submitted my own story on "Why I carried to term". Click here to follow the link and scroll down until you see Wyatt's picture. He is the seventh story from the top.
How My Very Own Angel Started?
Stephanie Stewart planned the pregnancy of her 2nd son Vayden. At an 18 wk routine U/S it was found that Vayden suffered from a rare condition, Lower Urinary Tract Obstruction (LUTO), which affects kidney function, as a result of that, amniotic fluid is low and lung maturity is at risk. Vayden’s kidneys proved to have failed at 22 weeks and there was no amniotic fluid. Stephanie was told that intervention was going to stop and Vayden’s condition was incompatible with life. Given that info, she was also given the choice to terminate. Her faith and support network lead her to carrying to term, praying for a total and complete healing, but preparing for that healing to occur on earth or in heaven. The rest of the pregnancy was spent showing Vayden 100% unconditional love. At 35 wks, Stephanie went into labor and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Vayden James Stewart. Although a struggle Vayden fought a great battle, and lived for 3 hrs 45 min. The time he spent in the womb, and outside the womb he knew nothing but 100 % unconditional love.
Although carrying to term was hard, Stephanie feels it was definitely the right decision. She learned so much about herself and her baby in that time.
Stephanie was surprised at the out pour of support she had, once she opened her life and Vayden’s story in a public blog. She developed relationships with other families to angels and wonderful organizations that opened their hearts and ears to her, giving her added strength through her journey of carrying to term, and coping with the loss of her baby.
Stephanie had a strong need to keep her son’s memory alive while also paying forward the support she received during her time of need. That is when she came up with the idea to donate 345 My Very Own Angel Teddy Bears to OU Children’s hospital and the OU Physicians Perinatal Diagnostic Center, where she and Vayden were so well cared for. The 345 represent the 3 hrs and 45 min Vayden lived. She then decided that since she will not be able to purchase the yearly birthday, Christmas and various holiday gifts for Vayden, instead she would continue the 345 Teddy Bear project and donate 115 teddy bears to 3 other hospital and diagnostic centers in various states, every other year, to be given to mothers who choose to carry to term, suffer later term miscarriages, deliver still born, or lose their little fighters in the NICU. All in Vayden’s memory
Only weeks after her loss, Stephanie found that she had an unexplainable peace over her. Life was different without Vayden around and she missed him dearly, but was pleasantly surprised with how she handled the death of her 2nd son.
“All things work together for good, to those that love God” Romans 8:28
At a weekend BBQ, around people she didn’t know, Stephanie found herself talking about Vayden , as two women at the table asked her "how many kids do you have?". Her close friend started to answer for her, but Stephanie declined and said “I have two, Vashon, the one running around with the stick, and I have my very own angel , Vayden who passed a couple of weeks ago.” The women paused as their hearts sunk, they replied “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” Stephanie said “No, don’t be sorry, I’m proud of my angel, and if you don't mind, I can share his story with you…..” That day Stephanie made two new friends, and realized that no women should have to be careful of how they respond to that small talk question How Many Children Do You Have? Your angel is your child, he or she counts in that question, as you were not asked how many living children you have. You were asked how many children you have. A mother’s love never dies.
She was so proud of herself that she faced the 1st of many of the How Many Children Do You Have, question, with such grace and maturity, she thought how wonderful it would be if every mommy to an angel would be that proud. Her goal is to open the eyes to so many people who are not even aware of the lasting effect losing a child takes on a person. She came up with the name from her responseMy Very Own Angel and then the t-shirt idea, in hopes that every mother to an angel will wear the shirts on National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness day, Mother’s day, their baby’s Angel ~ Versary, at a support group meeting, and whenever they want to honor their angel.
Vayden James Stewart
"Too Perfect For Earth"
May 23,2009 - Midnight - 3:45am
This is such a great resource for families during such an impossible walk when so many hard decisions need to be made... I wish this site were around as I looked for support during my pregnancy with Wyatt. I wish it were around to direct my family to, so they would better understand how I needed to be supported. This website will help a lot of families, and I just wanted to take the time to send you in it's direction.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
I just got back from the emergency room with the kids. I took Eli in because I thought he "might" have swallowed a pill. Turns out he didn't. Lord knows what he swallowed, but it wasn't a pill...
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
Just wanted to share an interesting fact with you that I stumbled across on Tina's blog...
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Today after I dropped Ansley off at school, Eli and I went on a scavenger hunt to find all the supplies I needed to make a cake for a dear friend on Friday. After an entire morning and afternoon of plundering through all the baking stores in our local area, I still haven't found half of the items on my list... but that's a different story altogether.
Friday, July 3, 2009
I am following in the booming trend of the famed Mr. MckLinky...
This week the theme is INTRODUCE YOUR BLOG. Write one paragraph that introduces your blog to the blog hop participants. Do not change any part of this snippet of code except for this paragraph only.... replace the text that falls between (and includes) the opening and closing asterisks. Be sure to enter your own link to your own blog hop post as soon as the blog hop starts!***